The Attack of the Green Garter Snake

Inquisitive by nature, the twins had the proclivity to bring home little wonders of nature that piqued their interest. To the vexation of their mother, feathers, wasp's nests and the occasional specimen of roadkill would often end up in the twins' bedroom. However, no such item caused her as much vexation as the green garter snake that the twins found in long green grass one beautiful sunny day.

When the boys returned to the house with their squirming find, their mother immediately intercepted them. Startled and repulsed by the snakes slick green skin, unblinking black eyes and odious pink tongue that repeatedly batted the air, the mother exclaimed "What on earth is that?!" Before giving them time to answer, she grabbed them by their shoulders and pushed them, snake in hand, back out of their home's open door.

On the homes small front porch, having securely closed the door behind them, the mother reasoned with them over the issue of why snakes don't belong indoors. Relying on their gentle nature, the mother told the twins: "'Snakes are only happy when they are outside. Without a hole to live in and green grass to slither through, the snake will become very very unhappy and die. You don't want this do you?"

The twins didn't want this, and they promised their mother that they would not do anything that would make the snake unhappy. Satisfied that the snake would not be returning to her house, the mother made the mistake of returning to her chores.

Thus unsupervised, the boys devised a plan to meet the snake's needs while keeping it as a pet in their room. After several trips outside with a backpack, the twins had successfully created a habitat that in their minds would be fit for any green garter snake. Their simple ecosystem consisted of pulled grass spread out on their carpeted floor surrounding the room's heating vent, into which they had dumped a fair amount of dirt.

Satisfied with the world they had created, the boys released the snake. The wriggling green Adam, delighted with the Eden in which it found itself, made for the vent hole.

At this time, the twins' mother, burdened with an arm load of laundry happened upon the scene. The sight of the green tail disappearing into the heating duct sent chills up and down the mother's spine. However, she knew what she had to do. Leaving the laundry midair and swiftly brushing the twins aside, she plunged her hand into the open duct and felt for the snake. While groping among the loose soil for the snake the mother worried that she was too late. She could just smell the scent of rotting snake flesh wafting from the nether regions of her heating ducts.

Luckily for the snake as well as the family, the mother located the snakes slimy green back. She pinched its tail and removed it from the duct. Relived and slightly drained, she put the snake in a bucket and instructed one of her older boys to release the snake in the pasture on the other side of stream about two acres from their house. She watched until the bucket was safely over the stream. The boys had to sit in separate corners until their father came home and sternly reproved them for what they had done.