What Now?

The children were obnoxious. What am I gonna do?

The children smirk as the man heaves himself out of the chair. A few make a quiet joke, inspiring laughter and evil chuckles out of even the best behaved kids.

What am I gonna do?

He slowly waddles over to the front of the class, his muscles straining with the weight. I should go on a diet. My doctor has warned me. I’ll start today…but Sally packed the beef for me today…fine, I’ll start tonight then. Really, I will. This time, I mean it.

What am I gonna do?

The class still whispers and laughs, just enough to show their unconscious contempt for the man in front of them. “I still can’t control them,” the large man’s subconscious whispers, “I don’t demand enough of them.” He doesn't really hear the whisper. His conscious mind shouts, easily overpowering the whisper. “Why can’t they do what they’re told, why are they such bad children?” He gathers himself to yell and berate his students, vainly trying to attract their attention. His subconscious knows he needs their respect, not just attention, but his conscious mind won’t allow that through either.

What am I gonna do?

As the enormous man begins to shout, the class slowly shows some sing of getting quiet. Though far from respecting the large man, the children know that when a teacher, even this one, is yelling, they should probably not make it too obvious that it doesn’t really matter to them. As the huge man continues to go on and on with his shouting, however, the class grows restless. They begin to snicker once again. The man hears them.

What am I gonna do?

“Am I too fat to demand they’re attention?" His subconscious again. "Am I too fat to do anything?” The man feels the whisper even if he will never acknowledge it. He always feels the doubts within himself, particularly when they concerned his weight. The man starts to sweat as he continues to yell, fighting for the children’s attention. His body can tell he’s fighting. He begins to feel the toll his exertions are taking on his already struggling body.

What am I gonna do?

The class has always felt this unasked question. They sense the fat man’s weakness, and go for his jugular every time. They don’t mean to kill the man, but they do it as surely as any knife. The fat man feels the threat of the children, but doesn’t know how to fight back, so he only raises his voice even farther, taxing his body even more. The class gives no reaction but to laugh all the louder to themselves. The body tires suddenly, the stress too much. Abruptly, he stops, mid-word. His breathing is labored, his heart pounding. There’s a strange pain in his shoulder, spreading across his arm. He knows what it is, he knows for a certainty. But as with the class, his conscious mind cannot grasp it, cannot deal with it. The man stands still for a second, in shock. He totters and then falls with a crash. He finally gets the attention of his students. There’s no laughter now.

What are they gonna do?